Useless Head: What I learnt in 2021

Ching (Chingis)
5 min readDec 29, 2021

Hello, if you followed me because of some of my other articles on Machine Learning, especially Computer Vision, I know this piece seems odd. I am not sure why I am sharing this. You can stop reading it now but if you still feel like reading this crap, I am happy to share. Perhaps I just wanted to share what I have gone through and what I was lucky to learn this year. With that being said, I hope you find this piece interesting.

Hard work and Smart work

Photo by Ian Dooley on Unsplash

It is such a cliche thing to say yet annoyingly true. I don’t usually talk about working hard since I try to keep my career life separate. However, I do believe that hard work can get you to places you haven’t thought of. I also believe hard work teaches you discipline and commitment, which I aspire to have.

If you catch yourself working very hard, take a pause and ask yourself “Where’s your grind bringing you?”. Although working hard sounds great at first glance and you may feel working hard means being productive, it might mess with your head, at least that’s what happened in my case. If you feel you have been pushing yourself, take a deep breath and talk to yourself. Take a pause and maybe even write everything down. I discovered journaling for myself, and it is such a relieving feeling to write all your worries and thoughts down. Here’s my point, working hard is not bad at all and I love it but make sure you love yourself first to know the boundaries.

Overall, it’s hard to figure out if there’s any meaning in life at all, at least I don’t see the meaning I used to have. I am still a student and I discovered self-help books for myself in my senior year. It made me reflect on myself and I learnt a lot about myself. I also started working out, which I am grateful for. I started planning my days and following a certain morning routine. Although I have been putting less effort into my work, I was still being productive at school and it did not affect my performance much.

I am not saying that working smart is much better than working hard even though it seems so. Honestly speaking, I am still baffled about how I should act and there are so many thoughts in my head, that sometimes I don’t even know where the difference is. I think I cannot give any advice on that with the experience I have right now but I feel that we need to experience both.

Bad and better

I once read this saying that goes “Emotion stands for energy in motion”. I might sound weird but it made me think a lot. When asking someone or doing something make sure it’s a nice time. By simply offering to sleep on something or postpone negotiating with someone who just had a negative experience, you might actually fix a problem or improve the relationship. Sometimes it is tempting to want to fix our mistakes yet the harder we try, the worse the situation gets. It might be more politic to just leave them alone instead of emphasizing how much concern it is causing you. You will seem nobler and wise if you just let them be for a while. I do understand that it is so much easier to tell these things than watch your life go crazy. It is hard to stay calm when you care about it with every piece of your heart but I now realize that’s might be the right thing to do. Sometimes, however, we don’t get second chances or we lose something and it sucks. Life is not about winning, life is about living.

When we say everything is getting worse, we might judge it by our emotions; however, the general trend might actually be positive. Our lives might actually be getting slightly better after every misfortune we encounter. However, I find it hard not to dwell on it thinking it’s fine as it is. But it is just as ridiculous to look away from these slight improvements we don’t pay attention to. My mental health comes from a realization that it’s both bad and better. However, I can’t just persuade myself it’s getting better by exaggerating my little accomplishments. It would be as helpful as balancing too much salt with too much sugar. It messes up with my head and maybe makes me delusional. And I don’t know why I tend to react to negative experiences more, maybe it’s just easier to let them come to you. In fact, positive changes might be more common but they don’t find me, I need to find them. Next time I fail miserably after I tried so hard and wanted something really badly, it’s both bad and better. It takes courage to try something, so do both celebrate and keep fighting. But here’s my main point, whatever you’re about to do, check in with yourself first. Whatever you have in your head might control your actions.

Some Last Words

I tried to be vague (kind of) and not talk about my personal experience, so it is easier to relate to my thoughts. Also, I don’t really love talking about myself and my life (feels uncomfortable). However, I hope this piece finds its readers and someone relates to it. I did not write about dozens cliche yet important stuff we learn as we grow since I thought it will make it more boring. Thank you for your time reading this unexpected work of mine. I appreciate it. I usually share my articles on LinkedIn but I think I am not doing it for this one. So, if you somehow read it, I am surprised and I just want to thank you one more time.



Ching (Chingis)

I am a passionate student. I enjoy studying and sharing my knowledge. Follow me/Connect with me and join my journey.